How Mediation Can Help in Divorce: Better Process for Clients and Professionals

In a divorce, not every couple can resolve their differences on their own. When a custody dispute or divorce puts partners at odds, they may need the help of a trained objective third party to come to resolution. Whether they are trying to avoid going to court, or have already filed a complaint and are ready for the case to be over, mediation may be the best solution to family dispute.

Mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution where an objective third party -- the mediator or neutral financial professional -- helps the parties (and their lawyers if they have them) negotiate a resolution to their dispute. The mediator isn’t there to take sides. Instead she or he can help the parties understand the way family law works, outline scenarios and related implications, and help them apply that framework to their family’s needs.

Mediation isn’t about one party making a point or winning a case. The mediator will help both parties identify needs, wants, and priorities, and then help them work together to guide them to a mutually agreed-upon settlement of their dispute.

In the family law setting, facilitated mediation can help parents work out:

• Decisions about their children’s health, education, and welfare

• Parenting time schedules

• Child support payments

• Alternatives when one parent has to move away

• Disputes over school districts or religious upbringing

It can also be used to negotiate the division of assets and debts when spouses separate, as well as whether either party will help support the other through the transition.

Many family lawyers believe settlement is the best solution to family disputes. Judges have limited time and information with which to resolve complicated divorce and custody matters. Even with the best lawyers, judges can sometimes misunderstand a party’s priorities, or reach a decision that doesn’t line up with a family’s realities.

Facilitated mediation can often be used to resolve disputes without court interference. If the parties choose to mediate their dispute before filing a complaint with the court, the settlement can often streamline the process and avoid unnecessary time in front of the judge. Facilitated mediation is also useful in cases where the parties aren’t on the best of terms. The mediator has strategies that can help the parties each voice their concerns, without the matter turning into a legal argument.

Family court can sometimes be a very destructive place. Because it is adversarial in nature, parties may be encouraged to sling mud and make mountains out of molehills. Each side will be trying to prove why their answer is best. And that can cause problems down the line. When parties spend so much time, energy, and money tearing each other down, it can be hard to stop once the judgment is entered. When parties rely on judges to make their decisions for them they are more likely to have to head back to court when later family disputes arise.

Mediation and support for couples through divorce from a neutral professional often results in better, long-standing resolutions.